Letter From Uganda:

When I first met Christine I asked her to tell me about how I could help in her work with orphans in Uganda. That was my first mistake (not to be repeated). She immediately retorted “there are no orphans under God” (of course how stupid of me!)

On leaving Uganda she asked me the same question that had once been asked of her and said: “did you get what you came for?” I replied that I wasn’t sure but I probably definitely got what I needed!

Then, (and still now) I am not altogether sure what I really meant by my response other than what I had seen and experienced had materially affected me.

Having visited East Africa in the past I had always viewed it as a magical kingdom beautiful beyond compare. Yes, there was poverty but somehow it never really impacted or touched me after all this was Africa!

So what was so different this time?

This time I saw another side of Africa the suffering Africa every bit as real as the other Africa I had experienced and fallen in love with. Somehow however I had conveniently sought to avoid this dark side should it intrude on my comfortable existence. Yet in this suffering I was struck by two things: firstly, a different type of beauty born out of God’s grace shining so brightly in the darkest of places and secondly, how different is God’s perception of our needs from our own.

Africa is a hard place. As you drive into Kampala you can’t help but be struck by the seemingly thousands of people just walking by the side of the road with a rather hopeless look about them.
That, and the vultures that perch on street signs and streets lights (which incidentally don’t work!) waiting to pick of some juicy morsel.

I have a habit for remembering useless information. In the airport I picked up a book on Uganda and read that Uganda had once been famed during colonial times for having the best road system in East Africa. I don’t know what had happened since then but driving around Kampala has the feel of driving across a minefield where none were left unexploded. I would add for those who will follow after me, it is a remarkable testimony to the driving skills of the Ugandans that they can navigate their way across the pocked marked landscape they like to call roads, (typically in a ziz zag fashion) while still managing to actually avoid each other. For the uninitiated, I would recommend a crash helmet since hitting your head on the coach roof of the Restorers for Hope van is a frequent occurrence!

Children and mothers scavenging with dogs on piles of rubbish reeking in the hot sun. An elderly grandmother living in a shack no bigger than an inside of a small car looking after 10 grand children reading a bible next to her dying husband on a makeshift bed - he smiles and proudly shows me his catheter! (inserted by a charitable medical team). Children on the streets sniffing petrol to keep warm, orphans of war, Aids and social collapse and degradation. I could write more than anyone would have the patience to read. Nothing I write will give it justice – you just have to go there and see and experience it for yourself. This is a glimpse at the dark side of Uganda I mentioned.

Some may say where is God in all this? As I said in the darkest places God’s light shines the brightest.

A boy dying on the streets and his young sister. He with congenital syphilis, rabies and the usual assortment of other diseases typical to those in such circumstances, still overjoyed at his new home. Jimmy and Jonathan whose mothers are Aids widows and HIV positive and haven’t the energy to look after their children being given a new supportive family, brothers and sisters. Children singing together in their bunk beds thanking God for what he has done and literally leaping for joy. A little church made of corrugated iron and tarpaulin full to overflowing. Gaunt widows suffering from Aids with no money singing for joy at how much God loves them. A child, newly rescued from the street slipping his hand into mine and saying thank you! Here was God and even better; here was I.

What I noticed in these people was that they were happy – “really happy” even though from a worldly perspective they truly had nothing. I remember Christine saying during my stay that we needed to find more clothes for the children. I helpfully chipped in that we should look for some second hand clothes. I was politely reminded that that was the only type. I might just as well have said let them eat cake!

This is what I mean when I speak of the contrarianess of God perception of our needs. I happen to be an investment manager. My professional life revolves around making money for people and the more the better. It’s a wonderful and fascinating profession. When you are successful you are treated like a god; when unsuccessful like a villain. No one ever feels ambivalent about you which I suppose isn’t such a bad thing. My work however has given me a fascinating insight into what people feel their needs are. While they vary, it generally boils down to one thing; security. They are either concerned about what they don’t have, or more concerned about loosing what they have. Are they happy? I don’t know. Are they joyful? In my experience they are not. They are certainly very rich in financial terms, but by and large I would not describe them as joyful. I suppose if I asked any of them the question directly whether they were happy, they would respond by saying something like: “I suppose so” or “I think I am” or some such qualification.

The point is this, that here in all the “mess of Africa” God’s Grace could shine and give joy – “real happiness”. These people in their suffering had no baggage, no money, and barely enough food to eat, but they were happy! Moreover God was here also providing their physical and spiritual needs – but not necessarily their wants! What I realized was that God longs to provide our needs but many of our “wants” which we erroneously believe are our “needs” can destroy that real happiness that God so badly wants us to have.

What I experienced in Uganda first hand was God meeting the deepest needs both physically and spiritually of the widows and orphans in the darkest time of their lives. Where there had been hopelessness there was now hope. Where there had been no love, love now abounds. Where there had been desperation and mourning now there was joy in abundance. Yes, there were still those with Aids. Yes the scars of the evil done to the lives of the children take time to heal; but there was hope – real hope real happiness – love and joy.

In our world where our significance is measured so much in what we possess - I began to realize that it was I that was poor. I had what I wanted and what “I thought” I needed but had made a mistake. These things did not bring joy just alleviated my sense of insecurity. A little bit like taking an aspirin for a headache to kill the pain but not cure the disease. Even worse, I was struck by the perversity of the fact that the more I accumulated and sought after the wrong things the further I distanced myself from true wealth that God wanted to bestow on me. Gosh!

I had gone to Uganda to give. God showed me the difference between needs and wants wealth and poverty and the wisdom to distinguish the two. I went to see and understand the needs of the poor. God showed me the meaning of wealth and poverty.

Did I get what I needed? Yes I think I did.

Steven Vestbirk

July 9th 2006